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Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do Who holds back the elctric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star? We do, we do Who robs gamefish of their site? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do
Homer: Well, kids, there it is! Capital City! There's a swingin' town I know called... Capital City People stop and scream hello in... Capital City! It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king And it makes a king feel like some nutty coo-coo super king It's against the law to frown in Capital City! You'll giggle like a stupid clown When you chance to see 4th street and D! Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam From Capital City my home sweet swingin' home!
Apu: Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to Or a geodesic dome There's no structure I have been to Which I'd rather call my home... When I first arrived you were all such jerks But now I've come to looove your quirks Maggie with her eyes so bright Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright Lisa can philosophize Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella Sorry 'bout the salmonella Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part Oh won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart... Marge: Their floors are sticky-mart! Lisa: They made Dad sicky-mart! Bart: Let's hurl a bricky-mart! Homer: That Kwik-E-Mart is real-D'oh! Tous: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Apu: Not me!
Lift me won't you lift me above the old routine Make it nice play it clean Jazzman! When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes. He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees. Jazzman, take my blues away, Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play. Jazzman, oh, Jazzman.
Long before the Superdome Where the Saints of football play... Lived a city that the damned call home Hear their hellish rondelet... New Orleans! Home of pirates, drunks and whores New Orleans! Tacky overpriced souvenir stores If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip' New Orleans! Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile New Orleans Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul New Orleans! Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank New Orleans
I am just a simple paperboy No romance do I seek I just wanted forty cents For my deliveries last week Will this bewitching floozy Seduce this humble newsy Oh, what's a paperboy to do?
Stella! Stella! Can't you hear me yell-a? You're puttin' me through hell-a! Stella, Stella!
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers To buck up your spirit, and shield you from danger Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret A stranger's just a friend you haven't met You haven't met! Streetcar!
They fight, They bite, They bite and fight and bite, bite, bite,bite, fight, fight, fight, The Itchy and Scratchy Show
(A) Not Jazz Chor, but Sad Chor Krusty: Well, Itchy and Scratchy are gone, but here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun! Heh, heh, heh, huh, oohhh... Sorry about this kids... But stay tuned, We've got some real good toy commercials comming up, I swear! (B) The Amendment Song Enfant: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress! Amendement: I'm not Garbage!! (Starts Singing) I'm an amendment to be, Yes an amendment to be, And I'm hoping that they,ll ratify me! There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom, I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em, 'Cause there's limits to our liberties 'Least I hope and pray that there are, 'Cause those liberal freaks go to far. (stop's singing) Enfant: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning Amendement: Because that would be unconstitutional. But if we change the constitution... Enfant:...We could make all sorts of crazy laws!! Amendement: Now your catching on! (song fades away) Bart: What the hell is this? Lisa: It's one of those crappy 70's throwbacks that appeals to generation Xer's Bart: We need another Vietnam, thin out their ranks a little. (song returns But still talking) Enfant: But what if they say your not good enough to be in the constitution? (sing again) Amendement: Then I'll crush all opposition to me, And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay, If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay!! Homme du Congrès: Good News,amendment! They ratified ya! You're in the constitution!! Oh Yeah! Doors open, boys! (wild, hollering bills storm the capitol) Lisa: So, it's true some crtoons do encourage violence! (she punches Bart) Bart: OW
Wounds won't last long But an insulting song Burns will always carry with him So I'll settle my score On the salsa floor With this vengeful Latin rhythm! Burns! Con el corazon de perro Senor Burns! El diablo con dinero! It may not surprise you But all of us despise you Please die And fry In hell You rotten Rich Old wretch! Adios viejo!
You work all day For some old man Sweat and break your back (uh huh) Then you go back to your castle But your queen won't cut your slack (that's true) That's why you're losing all your hair That's why you're overweight (uh huh) That's why you kick your pick- up truck Right off the inner state (That's right! Except for the pick- up truck) There's a lot of bull they hand you There's nothin' you can do Your wife don't understand you But I do Your wife don't understand you But I do No, no- one understands you but I do
Hail to thee Kamp Krusty By the shores of Big Snake Lake. Though your swings are rusty, We know they'll never break. From your gleaming mess hall, To your hollowed baseball field, To your spic and span infirmary, Where all our wounds are healed. We will always love Kamp Krusty, A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation. All rights reserved.
Bart & Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield! It's a hell of a town! The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down! The stray dogs go to the animal pound! Springfield, Springfield! Springfield, Springfield! Le Marin: New York, New York! Bart: New York is that-a-way, man Le Marin: Thanks, kid! Bart & Milhouse: It's a hell-of-a-towwwnnn!!
Burns: You see, some men hunt for sport Others hunt for food The only thing I'm hunting for Is an outfit that looks good See my vest, see my vest Made from real gorilla chest Feel this sweater, there's no better Than authentic Irish Setter! See this hat, 'twas my cat My evening wear, a vampire bat These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino! Grizzly bear underwear Turtles' necks, I've got my share Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest! Try my red robin suit It comes one breast or two... See my vest, see my vest, see my vest Like my loafers Former gophers It was that or skin my chauffeurs But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best... So let's prepare these dogs Demoiselle: Kill two for matching clogs! Burns: See my vest! See my vest! Oh, please, won't you see my veesssst!
When the weight of the world has got you down And you want to end your life Bills to pay, a dead end job And problems with your wife Well don't throw in the towelcause there's A place right down the block Where you can drink your miseries away At Flaming Moes (lets all go Flaming Moes) Where Liquor in a mug Can can cheer you like a hug And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
Baby on Board, How I've adored, That sign on my car's windowpane. Bounce in my step, Loaded with pep, 'Cause I'm drivin' in the carpool lane. Call me a square, Friend, I don't care, 'Cause that little sign can't be ignored. I'm tellin' you it's mighty nice. Each trip's a trip to paradise, With my baby on board.
Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Oh, Dr. Zaius Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Troy McClure: What's wrong with me? Dr Zaius: I think your crazy Troy McClure: I want a second opinion Dr Zaius: You're also lazy Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Oh, Dr Zaius Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Troy McClure: Can I play the piano anymore? Dr. Zaius: Of course you can Troy McClure: Well, I couldn't before Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius! Oh, Dr Zaius Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Troy McClure: I hate every ape I see From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z No, you'll never make a monkey out of me! Oh my god, I was wrong It was Earth, all along You finally made a monkey Ensemble: Yes, we finally made a monkey Troy McClure: Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me! I love you Dr. Zaius!
Send in the clowns Those daffy-laffy clowns Send in those soulful and doleful schmotes by the bowlful clowns Send in the clowns Tahiti Bob: They're already here
I heard those things are awfully loud They ride as softly as a cloud Is there a chance the track may bend?? Not on your life, my Hindu friend What about us brain dead slobs? You'll be given cushy jobs Where you sent here by the devil? No good man I'm on the level The ring broke off my pudding can Take my pen knife my good man I say its Spiringfeild's only choice Throw up your hands and raise your voice MONORAIL!! MONORAIL!! MONORAIL! But Mainstreet's still all cracked and broken! Sorry, mom, the mob has spoken! MONORAIL! MONORAIL! MONORAIL! Mono- DOH
Homer: If you wanna make your move, You've got to play it, Cool. Now, what you gotta do If you want to get a kiss Is act real smooth And make your move like this Abraham: Oh, I see. So if I take your advice And make your patented move Then my chances for love Will slightly improve? Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Now what's that rule? Abraham: Play it cool
Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart When the coach called me up to the plate. I'd been swingin' and missin' and lovin, and kissin. My average was point double-o eight. So I spit on my hands, Knocked the dirt from my spikes, And pointed right towards center field. This time I'm hittin' the home run. This time love is for real. I'll slide I'll steal, I'll sacfice, A lovin' fly for you. I've been slumpin' off season, But now I've found the reason. I've struck on a love that is true. I used to play the field. I used to be a roamer. But season's turnin' around for me now. I've finally bagged me a homer That's right, I've finally bagged me a Homer
When I was 17 I drank some very good beer I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. My name was Brian Mcgee. I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was 17
Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday God bless you this day You gave me the gift Of a little sister and I'm proud of her today Bart & Michael: Lisa, it's your birthday Happy Birthday Lisa Lisa, it's your birthday Happy Birthday Lisa Michael Jackson: I wish you luck and goodwill I wish you praise and joy I wish you better than your heart disires And your first kiss from a boy Bart & Michael: Lisa, it's your birthday Happy Birthday Lisa Lisa, it's your birthday Happy Birthday Lisa Yeah.... 
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