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| WE DO (chanson des Tailleurs de Pierres)
| Écrit par Alf Clausen |
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Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do
Who holds back the elctric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs gamefish of their site?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do
| DANCIN' HOMER | Capitol City |
Écrit par Jeff Martin |
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Homer: Well, kids, there it is! Capital City!
There's a swingin' town I know called...
Capital City
People stop and scream hello in...
Capital City!
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king
And it makes a king feel like some nutty coo-coo super king
It's against the law to frown in
Capital City!
You'll giggle like a stupid clown
When you chance to see 4th street and D!
Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam
From Capital City my home sweet swingin' home!
| HOMER & APU | Who needs the
Kwik-E-Mark ? | Écrit par Alf Clausen, Greg Daniels |
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Apu: Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to Or a geodesic dome
There's no structure I have been to Which I'd rather call my home...
When I first arrived you were all such jerks
But now I've come to looove your quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophize
Bart's adept at spinning lies
Homer's a delightful fella
Sorry 'bout the salmonella
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part
Oh won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart...
Marge: Their floors are
sticky-mart!
Lisa: They made Dad sicky-mart!
Bart:
Let's hurl a bricky-mart!
Homer: That Kwik-E-Mart is real-D'oh!
Tous: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Not
me!
| 'ROUND SPRINGFIELD | Jazzman | Écrit
par Carole King, David Palmer |
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Lift me won't you lift me
above the old routine
Make it nice
play it clean
Jazzman!
When the Jazzman's testifyin',
a faithless man believes.
He can sing you into paradise,
or bring you to your knees.
Jazzman, take my blues away,
Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.
Jazzman, oh, Jazzman.
| OH, STREETCAR ! | New Orleans
| Écrit par Jeff Martin |
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Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans
| OH, STREETCAR ! | I Am Just A
Simple Paper Boy | Écrit par Jeff Martin |
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I am just a simple paperboy
No romance do I seek
I just wanted forty cents
For my deliveries last week
Will this bewitching floozy
Seduce this humble newsy
Oh, what's a paperboy to do?
| OH, STREETCAR ! | Stella | Écrit
par Jeff Martin |
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Stella! Stella!
Can't you hear me yell-a?
You're puttin' me through hell-a!
Stella, Stella!
| OH, STREETCAR ! | The Kindness
of Strangers | Écrit par Jeff Martin |
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You can always depend on the kindness of strangers
To buck up your spirit, and shield you from danger
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met
You haven't met! Streetcar!
| ITCHY AND SCRATCHY THEME SONG | Écrit
par Robert Israel, Sam Simon, Al Jean, Mike Reiss |
|
They fight,
They bite,
They bite and fight and bite,
bite, bite,bite,
fight, fight, fight,
The Itchy and Scratchy Show
| THE DAY THE VIOLENCE DIED | Écrit
par Alf Clausen, John Swartwelder |
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(A) Not Jazz Chor, but Sad Chor
Krusty: Well, Itchy
and Scratchy are gone,
but here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun!
Heh, heh, heh, huh, oohhh...
Sorry about this kids... But stay tuned,
We've got some real good toy commercials comming up,
I swear!
(B) The Amendment Song
Enfant: Hey, who left all this
garbage on the steps of congress!
Amendement: I'm not Garbage!!
(Starts Singing)
I'm an amendment to be,
Yes an amendment to be,
And I'm hoping that they,ll ratify me!
There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom,
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em,
'Cause there's limits to our liberties
'Least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cause those liberal freaks go to far.
(stop's singing)
Enfant: But why can't we just make a law
against flag-burning
Amendement: Because that would be
unconstitutional.
But if we change the constitution...
Enfant:...We could
make all sorts of crazy laws!!
Amendement: Now your catching
on!
(song fades away)
Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa:
It's one of those crappy 70's throwbacks
that appeals to generation Xer's
Bart: We need another
Vietnam,
thin out their ranks a little.
(song returns But still talking)
Enfant: But what if they
say
your not good enough to be in the constitution?
(sing again)
Amendement: Then I'll crush all opposition
to me,
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay,
If he fights back,
I'll say that he's gay!!
Homme du Congrès: Good
News,amendment! They ratified ya!
You're in the constitution!!
Oh Yeah! Doors open, boys!
(wild, hollering bills storm the capitol)
Lisa: So, it's
true some crtoons do encourage violence!
(she punches Bart)
Bart: OW
| SENOR BURNS | Écrit par
Alf Clausen, Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein |
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Wounds won't last long
But an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him
So I'll settle my score
On the salsa floor
With this vengeful Latin rhythm!
Burns!
Con el corazon de perro
Senor Burns!
El diablo con dinero!
It may not surprise you
But all of us despise you
Please die
And fry
In hell
You rotten
Rich
Old wretch!
Adios viejo!
| YOUR WIFE DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU |
Écrit par Jeff Martin |
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You work all day
For some old man
Sweat and break your back (uh huh)
Then you go back to your castle
But your queen won't cut your slack (that's true)
That's why you're losing all your hair
That's why you're overweight (uh huh)
That's why you kick your pick- up truck
Right off the inner state (That's right! Except for the pick- up truck)
There's a lot of bull they hand you
There's nothin' you can do
Your wife don't understand you
But I do
Your wife don't understand you
But I do
No, no- one understands you but I do
| KAMP KRUSTY | Écrit par
Jimmy Kennedy, Michael Carr |
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Hail to thee Kamp Krusty
By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they'll never break.
From your gleaming mess hall,
To your hollowed baseball field,
To your spic and span infirmary,
Where all our wounds are healed.
We will always love Kamp Krusty,
A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation.
All rights reserved.
| BOY SCOUTZ N THE HOOD | Springfield, Springfield
| Écrit par Alf Clausen, Dan McGrath |
|
Bart & Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield!
It's a hell of a town!
The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down!
The stray dogs go to the animal pound!
Springfield, Springfield!
Springfield, Springfield!
Le Marin: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that-a-way, man
Le Marin: Thanks,
kid!
Bart & Milhouse: It's a hell-of-a-towwwnnn!!
| TWO DOZEN AND ONE GREYHOUNDS | See My Vest
| Écrit par Alf Clausen, Michael Scully |
|
Burns: You see, some men hunt for sport
Others hunt for food
The only thing I'm hunting for
Is an outfit that looks good
See my vest, see my vest
Made from real gorilla chest
Feel this sweater, there's no better
Than authentic Irish Setter!
See this hat, 'twas my cat
My evening wear, a vampire bat
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino!
Grizzly bear underwear
Turtles' necks, I've got my share
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!
Try my red robin suit
It comes one breast or two...
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest
Like my loafers
Former gophers
It was that or skin my chauffeurs
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best...
So let's prepare these dogs
Demoiselle: Kill two for matching
clogs!
Burns: See my vest!
See my vest!
Oh, please, won't you see my veesssst!
| FLAMING MOE'S | Écrit par
Jeff Martin |
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When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life
Bills to pay, a dead end job
And problems with your wife
Well don't throw in the towelcause there's
A place right down the block
Where you can drink your miseries away
At Flaming Moes (lets all go Flaming Moes)
Where Liquor in a mug
Can can cheer you like a hug
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away
| HOMER'S BARBERSHOP QUARTET | Baby
On Board | Écrit par Jeff Martin, Shelby Grimm,
Harry Campbell, George Economou, Danny Jordan |
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Baby on Board,
How I've adored,
That sign on my car's windowpane.
Bounce in my step,
Loaded with pep,
'Cause I'm drivin' in the carpool lane.
Call me a square,
Friend, I don't care,
'Cause that little sign can't be ignored.
I'm tellin' you it's mighty nice.
Each trip's a trip to paradise,
With my baby on board.
| A FISH CALLED SELMA | Dr Zaius
| Écrit par Alf Clausen, Jack Barth |
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Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Troy McClure: What's wrong with
me?
Dr Zaius: I think your crazy
Troy McClure:
I want a second opinion
Dr Zaius: You're also lazy
Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Oh, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Troy McClure: Can I play the piano
anymore?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can
Troy McClure:
Well, I couldn't before
Chanteurs: Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
Oh, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius!
| A FISH CALLED SELMA | Chimpan
A to Chimpan Z | Écrit par Alf Clausen, Jack
Barth |
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²
Troy McClure: I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!
Oh my god, I was wrong
It was Earth, all along
You finally made a monkey
Ensemble: Yes, we finally made
a monkey
Troy McClure: Yes, you finally made a monkey out
of me!
I love you Dr. Zaius!
| SEND THE CLOWNS | Écrit
par Stephen Sondheim |
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Send in the clowns
Those daffy-laffy clowns
Send in those soulful and doleful schmotes by the bowlful clowns
Send in the clowns
Tahiti Bob: They're already here
| THE MONORAIL SONG | Écrit
par Jeff Martin, Al Jean, Mike Reiss, George Meyer,
Jon Vitti, John Swartwelder, Conan O'Brien, Frank Mula |
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I heard those things are awfully loud
They ride as softly as a cloud
Is there a chance the track may bend??
Not on your life, my Hindu friend
What about us brain dead slobs?
You'll be given cushy jobs
Where you sent here by the devil?
No good man I'm on the level
The ring broke off my pudding can
Take my pen knife my good man
I say its Spiringfeild's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice
MONORAIL!! MONORAIL!! MONORAIL!
But Mainstreet's still all cracked and broken!
Sorry, mom, the mob has spoken!
MONORAIL! MONORAIL! MONORAIL!
Mono- DOH
| COOL | Écrit par Alf Clausen,
Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein |
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Homer: If you wanna make your move,
You've got to play it,
Cool.
Now, what you gotta do
If you want to get a kiss
Is act real smooth
And make your move like this
Abraham: Oh, I see. So if
I take your advice
And make your patented move
Then my chances for love
Will slightly improve?
Homer: Hee, hee, hee! Now what's
that rule?
Abraham: Play it cool
| BAGGED ME A HOMER | Écrit
par Beverly D'Angelo |
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Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart
When the coach called me up to the plate.
I'd been swingin' and missin' and lovin, and kissin.
My average was point double-o eight.
So I spit on my hands,
Knocked the dirt from my spikes,
And pointed right towards center field.
This time I'm hittin' the home run.
This time love is for real.
I'll slide I'll steal, I'll sacfice,
A lovin' fly for you.
I've been slumpin' off season,
But now I've found the reason.
I've struck on a love that is true.
I used to play the field.
I used to be a roamer.
But season's turnin' around for me now.
I've finally bagged me a homer
That's right, I've finally bagged me a Homer
IT WAS A VERY GOOD BEER | Écrit
par Erwin Drake
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When I was 17
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake I.D.
My name was Brian Mcgee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was 17
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LISA | Écrit
par Mozart |
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Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday
God bless you this day
You gave me the gift
Of a little sister and I'm proud of her today
Bart & Michael:
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy Birthday Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy Birthday Lisa
Michael Jackson: I wish you luck and
goodwill
I wish you praise and joy
I wish you better than your heart disires
And your first kiss from a boy
Bart & Michael: Lisa,
it's your birthday
Happy Birthday Lisa
Lisa, it's your birthday
Happy Birthday Lisa
Yeah....
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